Things, its what RA changes for all of us. Things we do, how often we do things, things we no longer do. Today I had a dental cleaning done. With ra and its associated dry mouth, thrush (caused by biologics) dry gums, sensitivity etc I need to see my dentist 3 times a yr for cleaning, flouride and an exam. I’ve never been keen on dentist visits, resulting from a dentist who thought he could knee me in the leg, and pinch my 6 yo nose to make me open my mouth. I bit the son of a ***** 🙂 Getting back to todays visit, had to update my chart as usual and let them know that now i’m on enbrel as well. I needed a script for thrush in case it returns, a barbaric scraping of my teeth, I attract tartar :(. I miss the every 6 mth visits because in my mind those were enough, but now they’re not. Along with the extra dr visits I end up with a few appts a month, in February I have NO appts scheduled as of yet and its wonderful, finally! Going to more dr/dentist appts has driven home the point that i’m sick and that will not change, I waiver from depressed to a go get em attitude all the time. Some days I am happy and I’m grateful for those days, if nothing it shows that happiness is possible even in short bouts.
Since dx’d Ive noticed my family doesnt talk to me as much as they use to, with the exception of my kids that is. They still share their lives with me regularly and because of that other familial support isin’t as important. But it still makes me feel inadequate, isolated, likely I’ll never fit in anywhere kinda feeling. If someone ever invented a teleporter i’d be all over that! I’d love to be able to visit my fellow rheumies & friends, a quick personal visit. Just to chin waggle about rheum, the weather or how family is treating you, I think many would benefit in good ways. And best of all rheumies wouldn’t care if I was masked because they know the deal, and that 5 hours is too long to sit in one place. Oh the things i’d do! I miss things and grieve things, still try things and completely avoid other things. As long as we keep trying its all good, the mental rollercoaster is tough on us all.
Peace, love and sparkley sunshine, bah who am I kidding. Get by however you can, remember though you’re not alone.