This past weekend was a doozy, ‘M’ my bf of 4 yrs got a chance at a job with better pay. That’s where the good idea ends, Sunday night he left for a ride along to check it out…. Saturday evening I was made aware that this job was out-of-town, I knew that part already. What I didn’t know was that M would be out-of-town 5 days then home for 2. At first I thought well no biggie, yrs ago when I was still married my now ex husband would be out-of-town for weeks at a time. Mind you I wasn’t happy with him at all and couldn’t wait for him to leave, too much tension too many bad times in our Marriage. It was easy to be without him around, even with 2 elementary school aged children. That was most definitely THEN, now is a different story, I realized very quickly how much my life had changed and what I need now is much different from back then. I panicked, had a severe panic attack wondering if I’d be able to stand and walk tomorrow or if I’d be able to feed the dogs etc. My world stopped, I spent half the night crying, scared out of my wits. I eventually fell asleep and when I woke up I was better, until M phoned me. It triggered the anxiety and reminded me how far away he was, I ended up getting sick and no I didn’t make it to the bathroom. RA has taken my speed and agility, did I mention I ran into a dresser in the hallway? I spent the rest of that day in bed trying to relax. During that time I had to question the benefits versus negatives of this ‘great job’. 5 years ago I ended up rebooting my life, because $ was not making me happy. That and having a (ex)husband who went out of his way to avoid me & his children for the almighty dollar, for his benefit (ex) he prolly thought it would help. Even though I begged for the opposite, spend time with me & the kids, please! After waiting/trying for many yrs I finally decided it was enough and asked for a separation.
That was it, after 17 yrs and without a doubt proof that money does not equal happiness, brings me to here. M would be receiving good pay, but he’d never be here. Also came to find out that for that ‘great pay’ he’d be working @320 hrs a month on a fixed salary that wasn’t so great. So me and M agreed he’s going to get a better job here in the city. Where we can be together and be a family like Id always wanted. M didn’t enjoy being away from me either 😉 Now my home doesn’t feel like an empty shell anymore 🙂
Money’s not all it’s cracked up to be, yes it pays rent, bills etc. Given a choice, I’ll take love over it every time, money can’t buy that.
My feature photo is of a cute hummingbird ceiling fan pull M got me while he was out of town that night ❤
xo sending soft huggs to anyone who needs one, God bless.