f*** it

I just cant anymore, months of trying to keep my head above water and no matter what I do im still behind. I regret moving into a house with bf, he does not keep the yard clean and mowed as he promised & we never seem able to pay rent on time, im at home all the time because doing something to him means sitting on his ass for 6 hrs at the computer and id rather slice my wrists open than do that ANYDAY. I lost a subsidy when I moved in with someone else and dammit I just knew Id regret that, and I do. The house is too big, too expensive and Im too sick of shit. Literally. The stress I experience anymore is no longer worth it, on the verge of packing my bags and LEAVING with no forwarding address. Its that bad. I pay what I owe on time and his lifestyle of making pymt arrangements all the time is making me lose whatever dignity I had left. But who cares right? Not my family, they wouldnt bat an eye if I lived in a damn tent.

I’ll not live with anyone besides my kids again.

Cable tv and the net will be next on my chopping block, all either do is show you what you dont have, what you aint doing, and what you will never be able to afford. A complete downer from all veiwpoints.

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3 thoughts on “f*** it

  1. anet37 says:

    There are princes out there but you definitely don’t seem to have one living in your house now. Do you have a lease that you are stuck with?

    It sounds like way too many extra problems for you right now. I hope that you can find a path to get out of this that does not involve more stress to you

  2. Melissa says:

    Move out darling, this is not worth it. It’ll be hard, but it’s for the best.

  3. mkupl79 says:

    Ugh I don’t even know what to say 😦 Maybe tell him just like it is like you’ve told us. After all what have you got to lose? I’m sorry.

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