5 years & holiday reminder

I can’t believe it’s been five years since I first signed onto WordPress!

With the holidays coming up I wanted to offer support for anyone who deals with a chronic disease. December is brutal, too often when we are told to enjoy what we have. More often than not we’re reminded of what we don’t have. Our health is a biggie here, missing family and friends who are no longer living is another. Some families just don’t get along too. Add all of that on top of media/society pressure to have the perfect Christmas, to spend money you don’t have and there’s a recipe for a crushing disappointment.

I’m at a point in life where the people make the holiday for me. My kids especially. I refuse to be pressured and I let folks know if they’re headed that way. I use to bake tons and went all out with cheesy Christmas decorating. Now it’s a much simpler approach, the easier the better. For so many years I made the holiday, now I want to just enjoy the moment.

If you are chronically ill, sick and in pain, cut yourself some slack. It’s stressful for people who aren’t sick. Rest often, if help is offered take it. I cannot shop alone anymore, bags get heavy fast.

Think about the meaning more than the money.

Do something you enjoy if your heart is hurting.

Most of all be gentle on yourself.

Happy holidays

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RIP Mandy 2002-2015

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Happy 2014?

I made it through the holidays, barely. Here I was thinking I could do what I wanted but rheumatoid disease proved otherwise. Christmas shopping I managed 10 minutes, then I had to text my daughter to come help me. I was grateful she came with me, I couldn’t carry my bags and heading to the other end of the mall was a lot tougher than I imagined. Taking breaks and spacing out what I needed to do for the holidays didn’t help. December 21-30 was a bust, I was in pain and of course what I had for painkillers didn’t touch it at all. I felt so disapointed, in myself, for my kids, I tried my hardest to do it right, rheumy style and failed miserably. My son stayed over a few days and I had to take breaks during his visit to lay down for a bit, and went to bed early each night he was here. This was not what I was hoping for, to spend as much time awake/moving as I could to enjoy his visit. I ended up feeling like a failure. I am quite sure my kids didn’t feel that way towards me but I felt it and that’s bad enough. I finally felt okay after a few days of doing nothing on the 30th. Laundry got done that day.

Tendonitis has been bothering me these days, feet and hands mostly. I can feel the tightening of my tendons, muscles. It feels like pulling almost to the point of cramping. Rubbing them is all that helps. I freakin ache a bunch, it’s annoying more than anything. I move as much as I am able to without hurting myself. I would move more if I could.

The holidays are exhausting and then if your children have their own home they go back to, they leave. There’s such an emotional let down after all the celebrating, you ask yourself. Are you sadistic? Between doing all I could for a good holiday and the emotional punch in the gut after… I am nuts.

I hope your holidays were good but if you were let down by your own body, you’re not alone.